flock of synopsis

Hypothesis on Being Lonely

a made up word
in a made up world.

i could place myself
in a mentally observant state
just to
watch your grace;
in a crowd of humans
in an angels race,
your eyes drawn to monsters,
heathens,
looking for a
recusant’s space-
you just can’t draw yourself away.

you’ll wallow
while you’re there.
recollecting images
of where you’ve gone.
how you’ve come so far-
to such a lonely place-
you just can’t draw yourself away.

BRB

busy wishing my life away

“The free soul is rare, but you know it when you see it - basically because you feel good, very good, when you are near or with them.” - Charles Bukowski, Tales of Ordinary Madness

Blue Bird

“there’s a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I’m too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I’m not going
to let anybody see
you.
there’s a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I pour whiskey on him and inhale
cigarette smoke
and the whores and the bartenders
and the grocery clerks
never know that
he’s
in there.

there’s a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I’m too tough for him,
I say,
stay down, do you want to mess
me up?
you want to screw up the
works?
you want to blow my book sales in
Europe?
there’s a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I’m too clever, I only let him out
at night sometimes
when everybody’s asleep.
I say, I know that you’re there,
so don’t be
sad.
then I put him back,
but he’s singing a little
in there, I haven’t quite let him
die
and we sleep together like
that
with our
secret pact
and it’s nice enough to
make a man
weep, but I don’t
weep, do
you?”

what do you do when
the creases of your smile
drip down to your toes-
thinking about how
at one point
everything was so
evidently clear as you
walked the path not journeyed,
let your mind afloat,
ceased betrayal and gluttony
raised your fist with
nothing but pride-
didn’t hide in shadows,
never ran from truth,
embraced the soul
and ego too.

once you get out
of the insanity,
you just wander.
knowing where you’ve been,
wondering where you’ve
yet to be.
following the path
already made.
being lazy.
because
the rules are
already there.

where’s my?

there’s a smile
underneath
your breath
that comes out
with your
innocence-
it tells a looking
soul
what it needs to
know.

you haven’t changed.

more
a replica
of a stronger man
an aged face,
a better grace…
and now remembering to
know
feelings of
a bleeding heart
can’t
be
diagnosed.

————————-

climbing so high
you’ll never catch me.